Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Foreign.
[00:00:18] Speaker B: Welcome to Nature's Best. I'm your host Michael Schwartz. Today we're going to be exploring a health issue that doesn't show up in a lab report.
Imagine that.
But it absolutely shows up in the body. Our guest today is Janice Burt, a inspirational speaker, a court certified Spanish interpreter and a yoga instructor. And a two time TED speaker on giving helping people overcome what I believe to be a topic of being fear free. Because I saw that coming up somewhere that every year to deal with a new fear. So today we're going to teach what I've seen for decades in natural health which is chronic stress patterns that affect mood. They shape digestion, sleep immunity above all and long term resistance.
So our discussion will be people pleasing other looks, good character. But physiologically it can become a chronic stress loop over commitment. And a lot of us do that. Right. Boundary collapse, another good one. Internet pressure or internal pressure. Sorry about that.
And a coolant, a constant vigilance. And that's something you always must maintain over time. That particular pattern can drive fatigue, cravings, poor sleep, inflammation and a nervous system that never fully powers down. We call that insomnia on some levels.
Janice refers it as courage work.
And today we're going to translate that into body based awareness and practical wellness steps.
Okay, Janice, when you say practical pleasing, what's the real cost principle that people don't admit to out loud emotionally or physically?
[00:02:25] Speaker A: So hello Michael, so nice to be here with you on this show.
[00:02:30] Speaker B: Thank you.
[00:02:31] Speaker A: People pleasing is something that I know a lot about just because I was such a rampant people pleaser for decades of my life.
And there definitely is a cost because you're basically in this fight or flight situation for decades. At least I was.
And what you're talking about, about the conflict, constant vigilance and looking around trying to get validation from other people to know that you're enough trying to please everybody. Which by the way fun fact we cannot do even though we try really hard.
It is exhausting, debilitating, paralyzing.
You live someone else's life. I mean I was such a shell of a person.
And so now I love to speak on this topic because I want other people who also feel trapped in that to experience the freedom that I've been able to experience in the last several years.
[00:03:52] Speaker B: Well, building on that, what are the earliest warning signs that people that are living in that. Yes. Pattern that they can latch onto that they can see to begin to understand what's draining their health?
[00:04:07] Speaker A: Well, the earliest signs are probably a bit of fatigue and overwhelm where you just feel like, oh my goodness, this is too much like having to make every single person that you come in contact with happy.
And all the while ignoring your, how you want to show up in the world, your own needs.
It is really a recipe for disaster. And what's interesting with people pleasing is I used to be very self righteous kind of about it and like, oh, look at me, I'm such a good person, I'll do anything for anyone.
And I just didn't realize where that was coming from. And it wasn't coming from a healthy place, it was coming from a place of lack.
So I think the key is intentionality and going where is it coming from?
This need for me to please.
And if I'm completely depleted, I have nothing of value, like true value to give to anybody else. So I have to fill up my own cup to overflow.
And then when I give, that's a healthy place you're giving from a place of abundance.
[00:05:39] Speaker B: You know, when I hear everything you talk about, it reminds me of the pattern of sacrifice. And there are people out there who will do and do and do for everybody else, but it ends up that they're not getting fed and, and because they're not, then the pattern of resentment falls into place, which could lead to anger. And then the anger can really talk about upsetting the immune system and anger can cause specific diseases.
However, from your perspective, why do we often fear dialogue, I.e. responsibility, perfectionism, or being the dependable one.
And I think that's the trap for everybody being dependable.
Right.
[00:06:25] Speaker A: Well, I just want to tell a quick story about what you were talking about earlier because I, I have a friend who for years would ask me to help her proofread her stuff. Know this is before AI and like all the amazing things we can do now where we don't need that kind of help. But she had a little bit of insecurity with writing.
And so she would send me all these papers that she would write and ask me to edit them and to proofread them.
And it started to become a thing where I realized that kind of the only time that she would call me was when she needed either that or needed some other help from me.
So when you talk about resentment, it's like I would say yes every time.
And every time it got bigger, this resentment and more resentment and it went into that angry field that you're talking about. Whereas where I would see her name come up on my phone and just ignore it and then, you know, muster up the strength to Then call her back a few hours later. But so to your point about resentment and anger, it's very true, that does happen.
And I eventually had to tell this friend.
And this was so hard. It's so hard for people pleasers to break these patterns, but it's totally doable.
I said, you know, I need to tell you something.
This might be a little bit hard to hear, but I can no longer proofread or edit your papers for you.
And I just, I cut that part off because it was, it was too much stress on me and it wasn't good for the relationship because then I just didn't want to talk to her
[00:08:29] Speaker B: anymore, you know, and one of the things I heard in there, in that pause, was that before you called her back, I could see you getting and feeling guilty about the situation.
And that only adds more angst to you and aggravates and eats at you.
So if a viewer listening to us expects that they're stuck in this particular pattern, this loop, what could they stop doing this week to give their nervous system to some relief from this terror?
[00:09:06] Speaker A: Well, I don't know about stop doing.
Well, stop doing is stop saying yes to everything, just off the cuff.
But there is something really important to start doing, and I feel like it's something that's not talked about too much and we don't do it even like myself. And I know how effective this is. I find myself pushing it off, not doing it, but sitting in stillness and quiet, just with yourself, closing your eyes, even if it's for five minutes or even if you want to start with one minute, giving yourself time to, to come back to yourself.
So the people pleasing thing has to do with external everything outside of you. And really the key in being able to resolve this problem is coming back to yourself and to be in alignment with your own values and who you are.
So stop saying yes to everything immediately. Give yourself a pause on that, and then start sitting in stillness, coming back to your own breath, and just start to see what comes up for you in those moments of pause and stillness.
[00:10:42] Speaker B: You know, that's really well said, Janice. And the problem with people is that they're afraid to be alone with themselves.
You know, being a holistic naturopath, I run into this in working with clients as well.
And also because I own the supplement company, I sometimes go out and ride with the troops, and every time I get in a car, they're listening to something. It is rare that people take time to spend time with themselves. It's almost as if they're afraid to look within because there's something horrible lurking there. As opposed to understanding that the beauty really is within them and there is a light that will guide them to that place of understanding that will help them move forward in life.
Really strange.
[00:11:32] Speaker A: You know what it is, Michael too. It's I. And I know just from personal experience, it's fear of the pain.
It's coming into contact with that, those wounds and the emotional pain that we've been through. Usually as children and adolescents, we. I, I was a huge repressor. So I repressed and suppressed all of the trauma and different things that happened in my life. And so it would, it did feel very overwhelming at first for me to even think about sitting alone with my own thoughts and feelings and being.
And what I would suggest to people is to sign up for something where as a group it's facilitated because that's what really helped me. I did a yoga teacher training in Hawaii and I was there for two weeks.
And every morning we got up and we sat and we meditated as a group.
And she started with eight minutes. And I think the last day we did 28 minutes just sitting in silence and stillness. And I have journal entries because after each time we would sit and write down what came up for us and how we felt and all of that. And, and that was some of the most transformational, one of the most transformational experiences that I've had in my entire life.
[00:13:12] Speaker B: I could relate to that. I think that's fabulous. I think more people should do yoga. More people getting with people. You know, everyone talks about finding people with a like mind, which is wonderful. But I'm of the mindset you need to find people with an open mind to that can help grow you to your next level of awareness and understanding, to find that quiet self within and communicate with that where the insights you get are all about you, not somebody else's input. And that will help you grow and move forward in life.
So, yeah, I think everybody should do yoga. It's not a bad thing at all.
[00:13:52] Speaker A: It's amazing. That was so, so life changing for me when, when my world hit rock bottom, that was what, what kind of brought me back to myself was yoga.
[00:14:07] Speaker B: Yeah. And you did it in a really conducive place to relaxation. There's nothing better than Hawaii.
What island did you get to go to? Which island were you on?
[00:14:20] Speaker A: It was the Big Island. The instructor who led us through it, her family owns an avocado farm over there on the Big Island.
[00:14:31] Speaker B: Wonderful.
[00:14:32] Speaker A: It worked out nicely to have a beautiful view while we were doing all of that too.
[00:14:39] Speaker B: That is fabulous. Yeah, Hawaii is just a wonderful place.
We've been to Maui and we went last year after the fire and that was really a heartbreak to see that that whole little community destroyed.
But it's still very paradisical, if that's a word, that it's a good place to go to soak up some rays. And one of the beauties I find because I'm a Pisces, so I like to look out at the ocean is that when you do look out at the ocean, there's nothing blocking your mind, your vision, so it allows your imagination to soar and your imagination can take you to places that will lead you to insights that can lead you to understandings.
[00:15:24] Speaker A: Ooh, I love that. Yes.
[00:15:27] Speaker B: Anyway, I don't know if we're ready for coming up next, but I don't know. Okay. So anyway, coming up next we'll get practical.
We're going to talk about how to really calm the body down in real time opposed to theoretical but the reality and how simple daily resets things you can do can interrupt your fear based living before it becomes chronic stress.
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Okay. So welcome back. We're here live with Janice Burt and this segment we're going to make this usable in a sense that a lot of the viewers know that they're interested but don't know how to get started, how to shift their body out of the on mode all the time wired up without a three day retreat, which can be costly. So our discussion this segment is going to focus on quick repeatable nervous system strategies that breath patterns that help like we talked a little bit earlier and small movement breaks that can help expand your boundaries and get that language that you use and the permission to practice that reduce internal pressure.
Janice brings courage and mindset as well. And Michael anchors it. That's me more so that said, let us a question. I did come thought about Janice while we were on break here is that in the moment that someone feels the I can't say no panic, you know, mom, dad, kids, whatever, buddies, girlfriends, what's the fastest reset that you can teach to show how how they can spiral out of it or how it spirals.
[00:18:29] Speaker A: Yeah. The fastest thing or the initial thing is there really is so much power in a pause.
So instead of the knee jerk reaction, I would say for everything in your life, just pause before, before committing or really doing anything. If you realize that you're a. I'm saying yes to everybody because I don't want to let anybody down and I, I need a little bit of that validation to feel like I'm worthy or like I'm enough.
Then if that's you, your first and. And only activity that you want to focus on is really the power of pausing and not reacting in your normal habitual ways. Because it is a habit. And you know, I'm sure, Michael, you know that we have those pathways in our brains that get dug deeper and deeper and deeper as we live life.
So to kind of reprogram those neuro pathways, we just have to take a pause.
So I would say the main thing is not responding right away, coming up with a sentence or a phrase like, oh, you know, I'm trying this new thing lately where whenever I'm asked to do something, I am just forcing myself to sit on it for 24 hours and then I'll get back to you, or something like that. If you, if you need to feel like you have to give a reason or, or you could just say, you know, let me, let me get back to you on that. And then just take some time again alone with yourself to really check in and ask yourself.
Is what they're asking me to do in alignment with where I am right now, with my values, with who that, with the best version of myself, like, is this something healthy and good for me to take on?
[00:20:51] Speaker B: You know, that's brilliant advice, Janice, because people don't take the time. Everything is so patternistically habitual. In fact, I've written about patterns of behavior and you're right and it's automatic.
And the more that you say yes, the deeper ingrained that pattern becomes. It's almost. It gets to a point of you've got to take the time. 24 hours. I was taught a long time ago with something that's major, give it three days to let it ferment, so to speak. So then when you can really challenge all of the pros and cons of it and see whether or not it's in alignment with yourself.
And so many times we embark upon journeys that are not necessarily in alignment. They're more. They remind me of the pattern of distraction. Oh, this is a good thing. Let me go do this instead. As Opposed to going within the self.
[00:21:47] Speaker A: Absolutely.
[00:21:48] Speaker B: You know, we always want the shiny new bubble.
[00:21:52] Speaker A: Oh, I know that pattern. Squirrel, squirrel.
[00:21:57] Speaker B: Makes two of us.
So what boundary phrases works best for recovering people's pleasure.
Something kind but firm that they could say to themselves.
[00:22:12] Speaker A: So if you're a people pleaser, you always want to be giving an excuse or like, I can't do it because, oh, I would, but, you know, and it's like you'll even sometimes make things up that just aren't even true because you're trying to get out of doing whatever the thing is.
So I really like something like, you know, that's.
That's not going to work for me right now at this point in my life, or I'm not sure that that's something I can take on.
Give me some time. I'll get back to you. If it's something that, like you said, you kind of have to sit on it and know if it's something that you want to do.
But I find, you know, there's no need to go into the paragraph explanation that, oh, my mom's in the hospital and my dog ate a bone that he wasn't supposed to. And I just can't, like, you don't need to give so many details about why you can't do something for someone. It could be as simple as, oh, I really wish I could. That just doesn't work for me right now.
Possibly in the future, something like that. And then you feel, you know, there's. There's an opening in the future if it might be something that you want to do down the road, but you don't commit to anything right now.
[00:23:45] Speaker B: Right now, you know, I want to share with you a statement my granddaughter said once, and this may work exactly the same way. And that is, I can't want that.
Is that not brilliant?
[00:24:00] Speaker A: You know, I love it.
[00:24:01] Speaker B: I can't want that.
And sometimes I say that to people and then I just shut up and that's it, that's the end of it, you know, because what's really fascinating is that the mind is beautiful. We can rationalize and justify and find a logical reason for anything we want to do or don't want to do.
So it's really, you know, the mind is just an incredible journey within, especially within. And then people don't realize that the without is what they're creating based on the within.
So, yes, learning to say no is a really good, strong thing to help a person build.
So.
[00:24:42] Speaker A: And I know you didn't ask this, but just to Throw this in.
One of the main things that helped me was hypnotherapy and what, what happened with that. And I'm sure you know all about this, but we have such a powerful, deep subconscious within us that many times we're not even aware of.
And a lot of our belief systems are held in there and we make decisions from that deeper place.
So when I was able to do this hypnotherapy session, it calmed the mind chatter. So those thoughts, the monkey mind, that just races and races and races. And, you know, I was so attached to my thoughts.
But by doing this, I was able to go deeper and calm my, the thoughts and go into my subconscious, which is where the belief lies. And where the belief lies from that place, that's where our, our thoughts come, our behaviors come, our patterns come. So just to, to place that to the listeners, that there is this deeper subconscious place, place in each of us where we can really go and start to reprogram all of the things that are hidden.
[00:26:08] Speaker B: So, Janice, for those who want your framework on breaking people pleasing and building courage, where should they start? Your website, your Talk, or the One Fear Year platform?
[00:26:24] Speaker A: So my website's great. It's janicebert.com There it is. And I have a community where I send out a monthly newsletter just encouraging everybody to walk through fear, to live their best lives, to incorporate movement and breath work and all of that. So you could sign up there.
I also wrote a book called Kicking the People Pleasing Habit, and it is on Amazon.
And then the One Fear per year podcast that I've been doing for the last year is on YouTube. So any of those places. And then I'm Spanish Janice on Instagram.
[00:27:16] Speaker B: Fabulous. Wonderful. Let's hope you get a lot of people signing up because it sounds like some very powerful, wonderful things. Okay, we're going to take a break, and up next, we're going to talk about words. Words have power.
And because the story you repeat in your mind over and over can just be as inflammatory as the stress you're trying to deal with and escape from. And anyway, there it is.
And.
Hi, welcome back. We're continuing with Janice Burt. And now we're going after something subtle but powerful. Most things that are subtle are powerful. And this is the internal script. In nature or in natural medicine that I practice, we talk about patterns of behavior. And one of the most underestimated patterns is the language that people use about themselves.
You know, you either build yourself up or you're breaking yourself down, especially when they're afraid.
So our Topic discussion is going to be about fear and people pleasing often produce a specific and I'll put it in quotes inner vocabulary and I think you know what I'm talking about because you can probably relate to it as we're talking. It's the I should, I should have, I, I will. It's my job. I can't let them down. All the things, not only do they make you more obligated, they make you feel bad as well. So this segment we're going to reframe that language into healthier choices based on language and it connects directly into the support metabolism or mechanism that sleep. It'll enhance your sleep quality as well as emotional resistance.
So Janice, would you talk about the power of words and messy action what that does to when it locks looks like someone is stuck where they are.
[00:29:45] Speaker A: Well, I would think the very first thing is what you were talking about with our internal script and really being aware of how we're talking to ourselves. This was a huge thing in my life and I didn't even realize it. That's the thing. A lot of people, we just don't even realize the negative loop that is going on in our thoughts about ourselves. That's why it's so important to kind of create a little bit of that distance and separation to know that you are not your thoughts, you are not your thoughts and to separate that there is a being underneath you or underneath the thoughts that is there observing that you are having thoughts. So you are not your thoughts. And a lot of times we get so married to our thoughts, we think we're one in the same and, and we're not. So having the awareness that, wait a minute, what are the words that I'm repeating in my my head about myself? What am I saying when I look in the mirror? What am I saying when I see a video of myself on social media? Well, like what are the, what's the running dialogue? And for me it was you're worthless, you're ugly, you're not good enough, you're unlovable. I mean talk about these just negative thought loops in my brain for years and years and years. So the first thing is to be aware. I actually gave a talk about this a while ago and I called it the voice of Darth Vader on one hand and then the voice of Yoda on the other hand. So we get to choose, like do we want to listen Vader or do we want to listen to the voice of Yoda who's the voice of reason and love and positivity. And all of that. So that was just kind of a fun way for me to think about it in my own life. Like, ooh, that's Darth Vader. Darth Vader just showed up.
[00:32:05] Speaker B: Yeah. And, you know, so many people have a Darth Vader in their life, and. And a lot of it is their own self. You know, one of the things that I offer when I talk with people is I try to give them a picture of an onion. And I use that as an analogy because the self is divided into four different parts. People don't think about this. Even us practitioners, and certainly the naturopaths I know don't. But the self is divided in your spiritual self, your emotional self, your physical self, your material self. And people say to me, what do you mean by material? Well, it's. Your lifestyle is a quick way of saying it. And then, of course, there's your social, intellectual self.
So with the onion, your spiritual self is the core. And you're constantly receiving guidance to bring balance and harmony into everything because you're a part of God. You're a part of the divine source.
So how can you be anything less than wonderful? Point number one. Number two, surrounding the next layer on an onion is, in this case, the emotional self. And what's interesting, Janice, is that the emotional self, the ego, has a completely different agenda than the spiritual self. You would think they'd be unified, but they're not. It's Yoda and Darth Vader.
So Yoda is the spiritual self, Darth Vader is the emotional ego self. And then when there's conflict between the two, that's when we end up with a disease or a condition. And then some people can get into negative self talk about the disease or they have a victim pattern, another one. Oh, why me? Why does this happen to me? Why did I get hurt? Why this? Why that?
And instead of accusing yourself or beating yourself up, look at it as whatever it is you're dealing with is your mind's way of trying to help you understand what you're going through and in doing so, how you can get out of it. I'm sure you've seen people who are more vaetaristic than they are Yoda, and where they attack themselves and beat themselves up.
How do you help them? You know, what do you say to them to help them get that mindset altered a little bit.
[00:34:27] Speaker A: Yeah, the man, it is such a.
A deep thing. I'm just trying to put myself back into that. That place where I felt just that constant Darth Vader.
Voice.
[00:34:46] Speaker B: Oh, I apologize for doing, making you go there.
I didn't want to do that.
[00:34:52] Speaker A: No, no, no. I, you know, I think it is, it's great too, for me to remember what that was like, because it truly was a prison. I mean, I talk about being in a. Trapped in a prison of fear.
[00:35:08] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:35:09] Speaker A: But it's a prison all around of a prison of your own thoughts, a prison of fear of, you know, judgment. What. What are people going to think and all of these things.
And truly, I'm so grateful for the little steps, and there's been some big steps that I've taken.
But the thing that really helps to get out of all this is, is taking action. That. That's the bottom line. Like, we can, we can sit there and think and ruminate and research and all of that, which is great. There's time for that.
But I feel like a lot of people get stuck in that research phase or just. I'm kind of looking into it, but I'm not really doing anything.
I would say my life changed the minute I decided to take. Take action, to take messy action.
You know, when we first start doing anything, it's not going to be perfect and we're not maybe going to know what we're doing. And so I want to normalize that for everybody and just go, hey, if you're stepping out of a pattern of behavior, it's going to feel weird. It might look a little, you know, different at first, like you don't quite quite know what you're doing.
But that is truly where the, the magic happens is when we step out in faith knowing. You know, I love that the imagery of stepping off the cliff and the parachute then opens.
[00:36:52] Speaker B: Great analogy.
And we'll come back to some of that in our next segment. And our final segment will build a plan that you can actually follow one per year.
So it's not a motivational poster, but a actually structural health and life strategy that will carry you forward.
Hi, welcome back to our final segment. We've talked about people pleasing as a stress pattern, and it really is. We've talked about resets for the nervous system and the inner script to help you keep your body healthy and get it off of that tightrope edge. Now I want to land this with something structured and empowering. Janice's idea of walking through a one year of fear every year is such a fabulous method.
And she shared it in her TED talks twice.
And the topic discussion now will be when people choose one intentional and I'll put it courage challenge. They Stop leaking energy in dozens of different directions, because we are multiple personalities in one. So this is simply decision making, reducing chronic stress load, and building a calmer identity within one that says, I can handle things.
And we translate this into practical blueprint that viewers that y' all can start this month because there's only here and now. So with safety, pacing and recovery built in.
So, Janice, before I ask you a question, one of the things that struck my mind when you were talking about defenses or prison. You know, people build defenses, they think to protect themselves from stuff, and in reality, it does become their prison. I don't know that people see it that way, but that really is what their defenses do to them. It locks them into a place. Anyway. Would you define. Because I'm really very curious about. I think it's a fabulous title. The one year per year, you know, dealing with your fear, one fear at a time per year.
So in a way that's safe and not reckless. So what qualifies that as the right fear to deal with as opposed to performance or informative?
[00:39:56] Speaker A: Yeah, my.
When I decided to. To do this, I basically went through a divorce about 13, 14 years ago.
I was just at rock bottom. I was a. I felt like a shell of a person because I had been such a people pleaser. I felt trapped in fear and didn't know who I was, you know, loss of identity, all of that.
And I decided one day I was like, you know what? I've been really good at blaming other people.
Like, really good.
Very easy, right, to do the victim thing, even if it's maybe legitimate. But I realized, so I can blame as much as I want, but I'm still here, miserable in my own life. So the blaming is getting me nowhere. It's doing me no good. The wishing things were different is doing me no good because I'm just wishing I'm not doing anything. So. So I made a vow that I was going to do one thing every single year, just one that pulled me out of my comfort zone, that I would learn a lesson from, where I would grow, where I would have to face my fear directly and look it in its little eyeballs and walk right through the fear.
So the first year I decided to. To run a marathon because I felt like that was impossible to do. I would see people doing it and people who were older than me, less healthy than me.
So I thought in my head, well, obviously it can be done.
But it felt impossible to me.
So I wanted to prove to myself that, hey, maybe I can do hard things and Maybe I won't finish, but at least I'm going to try my best. Which at the end of the day is all we can really do is say, I'm gonna show up and I'm gonna do the very best that I can in that moment. So I joined a training group, started training at, you know, 6, 6am Saturday morning river runs. And I went to hardly being able to run around the block without getting like that side ache where you like, you know, to running a marathon.
And so I would say that it. There's several components to it, but the first is a decision, like intentionally saying, I am going to walk through fear. It doesn't matter what the outcome is.
What matters is that I build my courage muscle by doing something that I am very scared to do that is brilliant.
[00:42:57] Speaker B: So that raises a question in my mind because so many people start out with that commitment. I see it at the gym.
January, the New Year's resolution, oh, I'm going to get healthy, I'm going to work out. And then come February, well, half the gym is gone.
In the beginning of March is just less than a half a dozen. So what do you tell people who start and then stop halfway through, and then they end up beating themselves up because, damn it, I said I was going to do this, and here I am quitting again.
What can you say to help them get past their resistance from within?
[00:43:41] Speaker A: What I want to say to that person is, I am so proud of you.
And also those are the words that would behoove you to say to yourself, I am so, so proud of myself. Because the problem with shame, which is what you're talking about, oh, I. I signed up and then I didn't finish. That's shame.
And shame gets us nowhere. It keeps us stuck.
It's.
It's so unproductive.
And I get it because I lived with a lot of shame for many years. And what changed that first for me was developing self love.
And the way that the best way that I developed self love, besides walking through fear, doing hard things, proving to myself, like, wow, like, respecting myself, you know, like you could actually do hard things, was having compassion on the little Janice, the. The little girl, the little teenager that had all of those emotional wounds and all of that pain that still lives within me.
Because what shame does is it berates the little us, the little version of Michael when he was a kid, when he was a teenager, the little version of Janice. And it berates. It says, you're not good enough. It says, oh, look at it. Talk about darth Vader, why would you even try to do something like this if you're just gonna fail again and again?
There. Change does not happen that way.
Change in my life at least, has happened when I can see that little girl who was insecure and jealous of all her friends, and instead of shaming her and being like, how can you be insecure? How can you be jealous? That's so crazy. You know, don't tell anybody you feel that way.
When I said, man, I see why you felt insecure. When you were younger, I see why you felt jealous. And holding that little girl's hand, loving her through that has changed everything for me as far as showing up from. From a place of. Of love and not shame.
[00:46:17] Speaker B: Wow, that's powerful.
Very powerful. I really like that. I may even use that technique if you're okay with it, because I think it's a good one, not only on myself, but all my clients.
So, you know, if you could prescribe one Courage habit as a daily medicine, what would it be?
[00:46:42] Speaker A: Ooh.
You know, I just come back to this because it is so important and transformational, and we don't do it in our society. We are numbing, distracting, running away from.
So I would say a great courage habit is to intentionally set aside five minutes every day and maybe go outside or if you feel more comfortable in your house, but somewhere comfortable, and just sit down and close your eyes and breathe. Intentionally get into your body and just sit.
That, to me, opens up this world of possibilities.
You'll start.
What do people say? Kind of like downloading.
[00:47:42] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:47:43] Speaker A: Information or what the next steps are. But we just silence that so much with distraction and TV and social media and everything that I would. I would just say that that would be a daily practice that will then feed into this concept of taking action and developing more of your courage muscle.
[00:48:10] Speaker B: Good, Janice. Where can people follow you and start their own courage journey?
[00:48:17] Speaker A: So I am@span. Well, Janice, burt.com I also have a. A website called one fear per year.com and that's where you can find my podcast. And I talk to a lot of people about fear and what it looks like and how to walk through it.
And then on Instagram, I am Spanish Janice on there. And yes, and there's my Kicking the People Pleasing Habit book.
There's also a TEDx talk that's called Kicking or no. It's called People Pleasing An Addiction in Disguise.
[00:49:06] Speaker B: Fabulous, Janice. Thank you so much for being a guest. I really appreciate it. Had a fabulous dialogue. Ladies and gentlemen, I'm Michael Schwartz. And this is Nature Knows Best. And we'll see you next time with more great information.
Take care and be well.
